每當我有好多野要做既時候，我就會思覺失調，係, 冇錯, 我衣架就係甘既狀況... 所以我要說...

Virginia tech的悲劇籠罩了整個美國也已經10天了，這幾天以來，看了很多。悲哀的,憤怒的聲音也聼了不少。當然，整個事件是血腥的，殘忍的，我也不希望這樣的事件接二連三地發生...

對這事件的普遍看法，我就不在這多說了。只是有些不解，為什麽甚少人會覺得the gunman，Seung-Hui Cho 也是該事件的受害者？爲什麽沒有人爲他的家人失去一個兒子而感到難過？釀成這次悲劇的並不是只有他一個人。以下是個人的一些看法啦，求同存異啦。

個人覺得 Seung-Hui Cho 是有異於其他殺人狂。一直覺得“殺人狂”，是用來指那些，以殺人來滿足自己某方面欲望，或者以殺人來體現快感的一族變態群。但是看了Seung-Hui Cho 的自白video 之後，覺得他是偏向想用殺人來宣洩其對社會，對身邊的人與事的壓抑很久的極度不滿，多於以殺人來洩欲。而且看到了事件生還者的訪問説道， Seung-Hui Cho 殺人時是非常鎮定的，and 他為當日的“壯舉”也準備了很久。在我看來，也許整個殺人事件對於他來說，是一個他籌備已久的激烈的暴力血腥演講而已，只是他的演講稿是用別人的，甚至自己的血寫成的。

我認爲他也是個受害者，而且是33個中，最可悲的一個。他是一個缺乏愛，缺乏關懷的受害者，是一個被歧視，被精神虐待的受害者。他扭曲地生存著，卻從來沒人知道。雖然是個english major，但不善于用言語溝通，因爲沒有人理解他的文字，沒有人能從他的文字中看出他是在不斷地asking for help，他惟有用行動。（你可以笑我想太多）

他的家人，好像很少報道，所以不大清楚。聽説已經出來公開道歉，但又有什麽用？儀式而已，給活著的人一個交待。反正他們也逃不了責任。兒子一直有心理問題也可以什麽都不知道麽？怎樣做父母？

至於美國的社會是不是像他說的那麽的不公平？由於本人並沒有在美國受到過一些種族歧視，或者不平等的對待之類，所以不能真正體會到他的痛。但或多或少，美國這社會裏都會有一些judge by what you are，not who you are 的情況存在（美國以外也是存在的啦），在乎你用一種怎樣的心態對待咯。怎麽說，Seung-Hui Cho 都是這種意識形態之下的受害者，雖然他的行爲是過之極端，但是與其憤怒地對不能改變的悲劇咆哮，不如想想究竟事件的原因在哪，從而調整人們心態，阻止同類事件再次發生。

現在只是希望該事件不要演變成種族歧視問題again。對，Seung-Hui Cho 是韓國人，但不代表所有韓國人，更不代表所有亞洲人！

吹水完畢。。。所有受難者，願你們，RIP

Song: Footsteps

Emcees: Tianqi Zhao, Lui Liu

Spoken Word: Mandel Lum

Vocal: Divya Chandran

Piano: Nick McGhie

Produced By: Scott Miyako

[Verse 1 Rap: Tianqi]
I said hold up stop, take a second to breathe
Cuz you can do what you want you in the land of the free
I got some cousins overseas that would love to fill your seat
Cuz they too, like you GOT hopes and dreams
Life's unfair, nobody got no nickel to spare
How come we never see the poor on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
Yeah, and I'm thankful that I'm here
So I gotta thank my parents because they persevered

[Chorus 2x]
As long as I keep running forward
(I see) footsteps behind me
As long as I keep moving on
(I believe) a new day will find me

[Verse 2 Rap: Lui]
他不能把一切抛到脑后

他背着过去阴影 不能轻松说 now go How so

他跑着..父亲过去的阴影Hunting him

好像孤立无援的生活在自己的Continent

So 我带上headphone

如何隔离周边的吵杂我还不太懂, 还在梦

想如果伸出手就能feel the star

想如果不用suffer pain就能 heal the scar

你有你自己的cast role

不是剧本里says so

扮演你自己 1 2 3 lets go

就算托着过去的包袱 我会一直走

一只手拿着地图 跟着这个beats and flow

脚印stays in the past

打开随身的bag

希望能够指引我find my way in the quest

这一路, 生怕走错一步,

站再原地看着前方只差一步

[Chorus 2x]

[Verse 3 Spoken Word: Mandel]
FOR MY GRANDFATHER:
I have always been aware of who I am
Son of a San Francisco father and a mother from the motherland
I'm half-immigrant, half-native, half-Asian, half-American,
I'm half my own man, half-heartedly holding onto my mother's cultural legacy
I inherited my tongue from my father that's why I speak like I'm "bok guay"
I listen to 2pac, so my mom thinks I'm "hok guay"
I had to get a girlfriend to convince her I was not gay
My mom is kinda old fashioned that way
But I know where she's coming from

From a communist country that could have been a People's Republic
To what should have been a American Democracy:
The land of the free, free to do hard labor as a coolie, build railroads and wash laundry,

Segregate ourselves off into Chinatown ghetto communities,
But not without impunity
Matter of fact, it was never given to us, we had to struggle to be free
[Matter of fact, it was never given to us, we had to struggle to be free]
My grandfather never walked to school uphill both ways through the snow,
But he still had hardships though
He fished off the Alaskan coast, braved the freezing cold
Making hard earned money to put food on the table
Now if he was able to make ends meet under the gaze of racism without a high school education
Then despite being a person of color, it's no wonder why these times are changing
Though I'm half-convinced I'm only half the Cantonese son I ought to be,
The other side of me is sayin': "Don't ever let anyone tell you you're only half a man"
So grandpa, I know you can hear these words, cuz I inherited my tongue from your son
Of all the people I dedicate this to, you're the number one
Remember, one day I said I'd grow up smart
You didn't know it at the time, but you were a good influence right from the start
I'd hope you'd be proud of me, cuz I spit these words out loud for you
Cuz these words are meant for the mind, but they come right from the heart
Dedicated to your memory, right from the start

[Chorus 2x]

[Bridge]

[Verse 4 Rap: Tianqi]
I reminisce about dem days, felt like the other day
Nothing that we had was new, everything was used
Even took the furniture that people threw out out of the trash
Never had my own money just monopoly cash
Made believe that in the future that I was gonna get rich
But we couldn't afford a doctor when…I got sick
This kid's got pride, but I kept it inside
And to get that free lunch I would stand in line
But I learned to push on, listened to the same song
Felt like ‘Me and Against the World’ but ‘Life Goes On’
See it I knew it was wrong, still I took for myself
Six-year-olds stealing toys off of the shelf
Lessons learned, thoughts return, these memories burn
Heavy in my mind so I’m grounded to the earth
I appreciate life due to what I’ve been through
So I make my life rich by making my wants few

[Chorus 4x]

[Last Chorus]
As long as I keep running forward
(I see) footsteps behind me
As long as I keep moving on
(I believe in my heart from the start even though we’re apart you’ll….) ­find me